Act 1, Scene 1
Narrator: It was a cloudless, undarkened, sunshiny day. This is odd because the setting of our story is in Cape Cod, Massachusetts; which is usually rainy.  Our protagonist, Biff Butterscotch, an air headed teenager, and his alcoholic homeless friend, Chimpy sat on the stoop of Brewsters. Brewster's was a corner gift shop owned by Fred Fern, who at moment was being interrogated by the police.
Fred Fern: I told you; the guy came in here and shot the lady.  
Police Officer 1: Do you know the woman personally?
Fred Fern: Shelia lives in 2G right above my shop.
Police Officer 1: Did he say anything or do anything prior to the shooting?
Fred Fern: No! He just came in 'here and shot her. No warning or nothing
Police Officer 2: Thank you for your cooperation, sir. If you remember anything else don't hesitate to call.
[Fred walks back inside his shop. The cops continue to talk not noticing Biff]
Police Officer 2: That was the 4th one this month.
Police Officer 1: Yeah, I know we have to find this guy.
[The cops walk away]

Biff: So, Chimpy, what do you think happened?
Chimpy: Saw the whole thing my self. I swear it. That guy went it he yelled at  Mr. Fred and Ms. Shelia and shot her.
Biff: Why didn't you tell the cops, Chimpy?
Chimpy:  Them cops didn't never ask me.
[Chimpy takes a swing from a bottle in a paper bag]
Biff: Maybe if you didn't drink that stuff you wouldn't be living on this stoop.
[Chimpy turned to Biff, paused and then answered]
Chimpy: Maybe
[Chimpy get up off the stoop and walks away leaving Biff on the stoop]

Act 1, Scene 2
[Biff enters his home]
Biff: Mom! I'm home
[Biff sets his backpack on the kitchen table where his mother is sitting and crying, a box of Kleenex tissue beside her]
Biff: Mom, are you feeling any better?
[Liz, Biff's mother nods her head vigorously; she takes a tissue from the box, wipes her eye and blows her nose]
Narrator: Liz, Biff's Mother had been very distressed ever since the death of her husband, Burt Butterscotch. She would do anything to talk to him just one more time. Anything.
Liz: Yes, I'm feeling better especially because I talked to Becky Zaney and she said she would give a free reading.
Narrator: Becky Zaney is Liz's blind next-door neighbor and the local psychic. Supposedly speaks the spirit world.
Biff: Oh, when are you going?
Liz: Now and you're coming with me. I don't want to go by myself.

Act 1, Scene 3
[In Becky's apartment. The walls are beige but covered in black scarves thumb tacked to the walls. The room has orange Christmas lights draped over the black scarf and lit candles of all colors on every table. Becky sat in a colorful dress and a small table in the middle of the room and a crystal ball in front of her. Liz walks toward the table and sits down.]
Liz: Hello Becky. Thank you so much for inviting me.  Do you really think you can connect with my Burt?
[Biff walks around, slowly, before taking a seat next to his mother.}
Becky: I am certain
Liz: And there would be no cost of course?
Becky: I am certain
Liz: Oh, thank you Becky! I owe you. You don't know how much this means to me.
Becky: I am certain.
[Becky starts to wave her hands over the crystal ball and she murmurs words that aren't in English. Liz and Biff watch as a cloud of mist settles around them]
Becky: The spirit is with us.
[Liz looks around for her husband; no one is visible]
Liz: Where is he?  Where is my Burt?
Becky: I only see a letter. The letter 'S'.
Liz: S?
Becky: Yes, the letter S
Liz:  The letter 'S'? Are you sure?
Becky: I am certain.
[Liz starts to cry]
Becky: Wait I am seeing something else.
[Liz leans forward]
Becky: I see a number and another letter. The number 2 and the letter G.
[Liz shakes her head]
Liz: 2G?
Becky: I am certain.
[Liz weeps into her handkerchief]
Biff:  That sounds familiar.
[Liz looks up quickly]
Biff: The lady, who lives in 2G, was shot at Brewster's.
Liz: Shelia?
Biff: I am certain.
Becky: The spirit speaks. She says...
[Biff leans closer to Becky to hear]
Becky: Innocent
Biff: Innocent? Are you sure?
Becky: I am certain
Biff: Innocent? That's it?
Becky: She is showing me a gun.
Biff: She was shot
Becky: No, the gun doesn't have bullets.
Biff: Oh.
Liz: What about my husband?
Becky: I can't choose who crosses over. I'm sorry for your loss but your husband spirit is settled, wherever it is.
Liz: Are you sure you cant contact him?
Becky: I am certain.

Act 1, Scene 4
Narrator: The next day, like everyday, Biff walked to Brewster's to sit on the stoop. but when he got there he saw something he didn't expect.
[A woman is leaning over the counter. She has Fred by the collar. She has a gun in her hand and it's pointed at Fred's head]
Biff: Hey!
[Biff runs and jumps on the woman from behind.  She accidentally drops her gun. Biff and the woman struggle while Fred runs out from behind the counter and rushes to pick up the gun.]
Fred: I'll shoot!
[Biff puts his hands up, while the woman stands there, arms crossed against her chest.]
Fred: Put your hands up or I'll shoot!
Woman: I dare you.
Fred: I warned you!
[Biff throws himself to the floor, arms covering his head. The woman continues to stand there not moving. Fred pulls the trigger. Nothing happens. Fred looks at the gun confused and tries to shoot the gun again. Nothing happens yet again.]
Fred: They're all blank?
Woman: There are no bullets you idiot!
[Biff takes his arms off of his head and looks around cautiously before slowly getting up.]
Fred: I knew that I was just making sure that you knew that I would do anything to protect this store.
Woman: Oh yeah I knew you meant business it takes a lot of guts to shoot a lady to protect your store with an unloaded gun.
[Biff crawls on his hands and knees before standing up and fixing his hat.]
Biff: I wasn't scared
[The woman rolls her eyes.]
Woman: Give me my damn gun
Fred: Why should I do that after you came in here threatening me?
Woman: Because I have another gun, that isn't unloaded.
[Fred puts his hands up untimely dropping the gun on the floor]
Fred: Don't shoot lady!
[The woman reaches over, and picks up the gun.]
Woman: My name is not lady; I have a name its Germaine.
Fred: What do you?
Germaine:  I want to know what really happened when Sheila was shot. Every single detail you can remember and not the bullshit that you told the cops.
Fred: I told the cops everything I know!
Biff: You're lying! You told the cops that the guy came in shot Shelia and left but he was talking to both you and Shelia before he shot her.
Fred: You don't know what you're talking about kid!
Biff: I'm not a kid!
[Fred advances toward Biff but Germaine grabs Fred and pulls him back.]
Germaine: Kid, you're coming with me.
Biff: I'm not a kid!
[Germaine grabs Biff and yanks him outside]

Act 2, Scene 1
{Germaine and Biff are in an apartment]

Biff: Hey Lady! Why are we in Shelia's Apartment?

Germaine: Kid, my name is not Lady, its Germaine. Shelia was my brother's girlfriend.

Narrator: Germaine is the street-smart sister of Bob. She sells guns to foreign countries and he is a very dangerous gang-toting gangster, who happened to fall in love with Ms. Shelia Silverton.

Germaine: My brother has been convicted for Shelia's murder because of his not so shiny and clean track record. Do you have any more questions? No! Good! Now tell me what you saw.

Biff: I didn't see anything!

Germaine: Don't lie to me. You knew a lot of information in Fred's shop. Tell me what you saw!

Biff: I didn't see anything. I swear! Chimpy was the one who told me everything. I knew!

[Germaine yelled in frustration before throwing herself on the couch.]

Germaine: Who is Chimpy?

Biff: The dude who sits in front of Fred's shop.

Germaine: The homeless drunkard?

Biff: Yeah.

Act 2, Scene 2

[Chimpy is sitting on the stoop in front of Brewster's. He takes a sip from his paper bag while whistling an unrecognizable tune. Biff and Germaine run toward Chimpy.]

Biff: Hey Chimpy! We need to ask you some questions.

Chimpy: Okay

Biff: Do you remember when Shelia got shot and you told me you saw everything?

Chimpy: Yep!

Biff: We need you to tell us everything you remember.

Chimpy: It's hard for me to remember every little thing.

Germaine: Please try to remember Chumpy

Biff: Chimpy

Germaine: Chimpy. Do you remember what he said? What he looked like?

Chimpy: He came into Brewsters. He yelled, "Where is Shelia?" Then Fred pointed to Miss

Shelia. The man shot her and ran out.

Germaine: Did he say anything else? Can you remember what he looked like?

Chimpy: I can't remember what he looked like but I do remember he said "Sorry"

Biff: He said sorry?

Chimoy: Yeah after he shot Miss Shelia he said "Sorry".

Germaine: That's it?

Chimpy: Yep

[Chimpy took a sip from his paper bag and walked away. Once again he whistled that unrecognizable tune.]

Germaine: How am I going to prove my brother is innocent with "sorry"?

Biff: I think I know who can help us.

Act 2, Scene 3

[Biff and Germaine are in Becky's Apartment]

Becky: Ahh Biff! What may I help you with?

Biff: How did you know it was me?

Becky: I was certain.

Biff: Germaine here would like to talk to Shelia.

Becky: Is that so?

Germaine: Yes, it is.

Becky: Then follow me.

[Biff and Germaine follow Becky and sit down at the small table. Becky starts to wave her hands over the crystal ball and she murmurs words that aren't in English. Germaine and Biff watch as a cloud of mist settles around them]
Becky: The spirit is with us.

Germaine: Can you ask Shelia who killed her?

Becky: She said you could find all your answers at her home.

Germaine: Her killer, it wasn't…

[Germaine hesitates, afraid to ask the question]

Germaine: …Bob, was it?

Becky: She says, he is innocent of her death.

[Germaine sighs out of relief]

Biff: Anything else?

Becky: No, the spirit has moved on.

Act 2, Scene 4

[Germaine and Biff are searching the apartment; opening closing and rummaging through draws. Germaine throws her arms up in frustration]

Germaine: There is nothing here.

[Biff picks up a pile of letter and flips through them. He stops at one and drops the rest on the floor.]

Biff: Hey!

Germaine: What?

Biff: It's a clue. It's a letter to some guy named Charlie Albom.

[Germaine reads it aloud]

Germaine:

Charlie Albom,

I'm sorry but the feelings you have for me aren't mutual. I'm in love with my boyfriend, Bob. We hope to be married someday. You have to stop coming to my job and leaving me flowers or I'll be forced to...

Biff: Forced to what?

Germaine: Nothing it stops there. We have to find this Charlie Albom.

Biff: How are we going to find him?

Act 3, Scene 1

[Biff and Germaine are in front of a house. Germaine is banging on the door, hard with both her fists.]

Germaine: Charlie! Open up!

Biff: How did you know where Charlie lives?

Germaine: I checked the yellow pages.

Biff: Oh.

[A man walks by he stops as he sees Germaine yelling]

Man: You're looking for Charlie?

Biff & Germaine: Yeah.

Man: He is at work.

Biff & Germaine: Where does he work?

Man: At the bank.

Act 3, Scene 2

[Biff and Germaine are in a line; they reach the front where a male teller greets them]

Male Teller: Hello how may I help you today?

Germaine: I'm looking for a Charlie Albom.

Male Teller: I am Charlie Albom.          

Germaine: We need to have a little chat.

[Germaine pulls out the gun from before and points it at Charlie's head. All the people at the bank including Biff see the gun and scream. People immediately throw themselves on the floor with their arms covering their heads.]

Charlie: Any money you want you can have it.

Germaine: I don't want any money. I want some answers and if you don't answer them completely and absolutely hundred percent true I will not hesitate to blow your head off! Understand!?

[Charlie nods his head vigorously. Germaine put the gun closer to Charlie's face]

Germaine: I asked you, if you understood.

Charlie: Yes! Yes! I understand!

Germaine: Good. Now first question: Did you know Shelia Silverton?

Charlie: Who?

[Germaine pulls the trigger. The bullet fires out about 2 inches away from Charlie's head. No one notices one of the other bank tellers calling 911]

Germaine: I don't like to repeat myself. I said completely honest answers! I won't miss next time.

Charlie: Yes! Yes, I knew Shelia.

Germaine: So you also know she was murdered didn't you?      

Charlie: It was in the paper.

Germaine: In the paper, right; so you also know her boyfriend, Bob, my brother is falsely being convicted of her murder.

Charlie: Yes!

[The police sirens could be heard in the distance. They were getting closer every second.]

Germaine: You know this because it was you, right? You got mad. Shelia loved my brother and not you so you decided to kill her, didn't you?

[Charlie is in tears. The police parade into the bank with their guns and bulletproof shields.]

Germaine: You followed her home from her work. The same work that you had sent flowers to every single day and you watched her walk into Brewster's. She walked into that store and never came out because you shot her, didn't you Charlie!? You shot Shelia Silverton because you were jealous. Didn't you, Charlie? Didn't you!?

[Charlie throws him self to the floor]

Charlie: Yes! Yes! I did it! I shot Shelia and I'm sorry! I'm so so sorry!

[Germaine lowers her arm; the gun points to the floor. Biff takes his arms off his head and looks around nervously and cautiously before slowly getting up.]

Police: Put your hands up!

[Germaine throws the gun to the floor and puts her hand behind her head. Biff does the same as a cop slaps hands cuffs on Charlie and leads him out. A police officer walks over to Biff and Germaine.]

Police Officer 1: We need you two to come down to the station to answer a few questions.

Act 3, Scene 3

[Biff and Germaine are in the police station talking to Police Officer 1]

Germaine: I have a license to own that gun.

Policeofficer 1: A license to own the gun. Not a license to hold up a bank with said gun for your personal vendetta.

Germaine: Whatever. Now that you have your bad guy, my brother gets out, right?

Police Officer 1: I'm sorry to say but no, he doesn't.

Germaine: Why?

Police Officer 1: Your brother, Bob has been convicted of three other murders.

[Police Officer 1 walks away]

Biff: Well, that sucks!

Narrator: In conclusion, Germaine stayed in the Police Station for further questioning. Charlie went to jail for murdering Shelia. Bob went to jail for murdering three other people. Liz, who still had the box of Kleenex in her hands, had to pick up Biff from the police station. Shelia moved onto the afterlife where she met Burt Butterscotch; they reminisced about life on earth and their bad choices in life partners. After Shelia's death, Brewster's got a lot of publicity and Fred became a millionaire. Becky's apartment had caught fire due to the dozens of lit candles, flammable scarves and her blindness. Now she lives in Cleveland, Ohio where she is a dog whisperer. Oh and Chumpy, I mean Chimpy is still the homeless drunk who sits on the stoop. So basically they all lived happily ever after.

The End